Clay and Dust

A priest recently explained to me that Judas Iscariot's primary fault was not that he betrayed Jesus. That was just a consequence of a deeper disorder in his mind and soul. No, Judas' primary fault was that he refused to be formed by Christ.

Jesus did not conform to Judas' idea of what they Messiah should be. Judas, like the other apostles, was thrilled that the long awaited One had finally entered history. However, he expected something entirely different. Judas was awaiting an earthly King of kings, conqueror of nations, and material deliverance from Roman bondage. What Judas got instead was a King of all creation, a conqueror of hearts, and deliverance from the bondage of sin. It was undoubtedly something far greater, but it was not what Judas expected - and perhaps in his rigid mind, concerned more with the things of this world, not what he wanted.

It's often said by those wrestling with belief that, "I would believe if God would just show me proof of His existence and love." But if this week's Passion story tells us anything, it's that proof is most certainly not the primary issue.

Judas had all the proof he could want that Jesus is who He claims to be. Judas simply lacked the faith and humility to allow himself to be conformed to God as He is, versus what Judas wanted Him to be. It's really as simple as that.

Judas refused to be supple clay in the hands of his Maker. To be sure, all of the other apostles struggled with who the Messiah turned out to be. They doubted, asked questions, fell away and returned. They struggled mightily. But in the end, they allowed God to be God, and let themselves be shaped by His often surprising, even shocking, message.

Judas would not be molded. He refused to give up on his past dreams of an earthly Messiah who would herald an earthly kingdom. So, like dry and hardened clay, even in the most gentle of hands, he became dust.

This is a lesson for leadership, as well as the spiritual life.

How often do we expend precious time and energy attempting to make the world and those around us what we want them to be, instead of asking what those we serve need us to be?

During a recent executive coaching session with a client, we discussed that leadership is the often challenging art of being authentic, while also being who those we serve need us to be - to allow the needs of others and the demands that the world presents to mold us and shape how we serve. The same can certainly be applied to parenting and being a loving spouse.

I spent much of my life, like Judas, trying to mold the world to my expectations. It took quite some time to come terms with being the clay.

Check out my latest book: Leading Conflict: How To Fight at Work.

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