john bailie, PHD
Faith. Life. leadership.

This series of articles explores some of the most common behavior profiles that persistently generate toxic conflict and provides tips on how to respond to each. In Creative vs. Toxic Conflict at Work , and the toxic workplace behavior profile for The Submarine , I discussed one of the key features that distinguishes toxic conflict from creative conflict. Creative conflict is rooted in the dynamics between people . In creative conflict, the motives and goals of group members

My six-year-old son and I created a game. It is in fact, the best, most fun game in history (at least according to my son). It’s called “Rock, Paper, Scissors, …ELVIS!” The beauty of this game is the rules – or lack thereof. Basically, the rules are the same as regular “Rock, Paper, Scissors” but with one tremendous wrinkle. You start by saying: “Rock, paper, scissors, Elvis …shoot!“ And then, in addition to the usual choices (rock, paper or scissors), you can say anything el

This new series of articles will explore some of the most common behavior profiles that persistently generate toxic conflict and provide tips on how to respond to each. In the article Creative vs. Toxic Conflict at Work , I discussed one of the key features that distinguishes toxic conflict from creative conflict. Creative conflict is rooted in the dynamics between people . In creative conflict, the motives and goals of group members are typically healthy and focused on a sin

Most of what passes for conflict management/resolution wisdom and education is far too cautious, avoidant, and frankly fails to address the root issues inherent in most conflicts. This is because the human desire for interpersonal peace is so strong that most leaders will purposely or inadvertently suppress a conflict far too soon in its life cycle. The reasons for shutting down or “resolving” conflict too soon usually come from a good place. Much of the existing practice in

When I began my career as a professional educator and trainer I was young, arrogant and stubborn. Now I’m just arrogant and stubborn. One day, early in my career, I was co-training a group of professionals with my supervisor. He was an experienced consultant, trainer and a top-shelf presenter. He was a truly gifted speaker and mentor who could work a room like nobody’s business. During a Q&A session, one of our trainees asked an insightful question about how to give tough fee

This is the first in series of articles covering the central principles of leading conflict in the workplace. In recent articles, I talked about how to strategize like Ali , tell the difference between creative and toxic conflict , why workplace conflict can be so scary and even how to poke someone in the eye ! But all of those strategies won’t amount to much if you run away from conflict – or, more accurately, the fear that conflict produces. You must develop the unnatural

To most boxing fans, Muhammad Ali is the undisputed G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time). For sure, he was a great boxer. But he won most of his fights before he even stepped in the ring. Ali was a master of the psychology of conflict as much as he was an expert boxer. For Ali, the real fight began long before the first-round bell. He was always several steps ahead of his opponents, mentally as well as physically. For some personal and in-depth reflections on what is was like to f

Contrary to what you might think, you need more fights at work – not fewer. Conflict is good. Conflict exposes our needs, desires, commitments and fears. Conflict shows us where we are strong and where we are weak. Conflict is the path to personal and organizational growth. For all of these reasons, conflict should not be simply resolved or managed. Conflict should be led. This is an essential skill for would-be transformational leaders (like you). Learning how to “fight” at

In my previous article, Conflict: Love It and Lead It , I said: The highest performing groups learn that they need group members who are willing to lead conflict – not just manage it or resolve it. Within the roots of conflict lie the life blood of creativity, possibility, self-knowledge and group evolution. Many years of experience as a leadership coach and organizational change consultant have proven this fact to me again and again. The presence of conflict within a work te

Working with troubled youth and coaching leaders is pretty similar. I’ve done both, and I find it much easier to work with a drug-addicted or gang-involved teenager than with a CEO. Teenagers tend to be pretty blunt and upfront with their opinions, emotions and motivations. Even with the “toughest” kids, once you learn how to get through the thick outer shell, you usually find a whole lot of raw emotion and realness. On the other hand, adults (especially professionals and lea